How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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