Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
