dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
