You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
