I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
