His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
