I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
