My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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