So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
