I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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