imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
