the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
