you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
