the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
