I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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