i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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