Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
