The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
