where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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