I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
