New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
