You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
