She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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