How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
