The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize