YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
