Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize