So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
