So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
