I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just gift wrapped bread.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
