I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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