i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
