I cockslap morals
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
