I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
