Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
