He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
