TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
