Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
