he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
