He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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