Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
