Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
