Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize