dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize