Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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