dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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