the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
