Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
