it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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