After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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