i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I will be naked everywhere
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
