i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
