Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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