Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
