All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
