In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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